


South Side.

by paragraph (ebcdic)



Category: Canadian Music RPF
Genre: Blow Jobs, Consensual Infidelity, Depression, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Kept Man, M/M, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 23:04:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3587367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebcdic/pseuds/paragraph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He craves human touch so much; it makes him sick with the need at times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	South Side.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU.

Todd leans against the wall of what used to be a television repair shop, but is now a payday loan place, and smokes a cigarette. In his motorcycle boots, torn jeans and leather jacket, he knows he looks tough, but if anyone were to look past that, they would see the fear reflected in his eyes. He doesn't want to be out here in the freezing cold, but he feels like he doesn't have much of a choice. Upstairs, in the tiny apartment he shares with his brother and two friends, he just had a fight with Ryan, who was supposed to be one of his best friends. Ryan's brother, Kurt, had threatened to kick his ass over it and Todd fled down the stairs to avoid anymore confrontation. It's not that he's really afraid of Kurt; he's afraid of what he might do if tricked into a fight. His life is tough enough as it is without going up for assault on top of it all.

He and his brother, and Kurt and Ryan had moved from the Prairies out to Vancouver only months before in hopes of making it big as a rock band. They had been big back home, but here they were just another unsigned band playing cover tunes and unwanted originals in the back of clubs. Todd was sick of it. He wanted someone to look at him with hunger in their eyes instead of booing him off the stage. The inability to fully capture an audience constantly gave Todd the shakes and the more he felt that way, the more he needed a cigarette, which just ruined his voice anyway. Besides that, the lack of money, and therefore food, was making him skinnier than ever, not to mention insane.

More and more often, Todd found himself hanging out at gay bars on the nights they weren't playing or rehearsing. He got cruised quite a bit, but he never took anyone up on their far-ranging offers. Truthfully, Todd was terrified that he would be found out by his brother or the Dahles. As though the stranger who wanted to suck his cock would somehow know who he was or would show up later, if they ever made it big, and demand to be paid for his silence. So, Todd just drank cheap beer and watched the scene unfold in front of him.

Tonight, Todd wants to escape to one of those bars, but he doesn’t dare let himself. In this mood, he'd be liable to finally give in. He craves human touch so much; it makes him sick with the need at times. The fleeting hugs from Ryan just aren't doing it anymore. Todd paces back and forth in front of the neon lights of the payday loan windows and tries not to stray farther than three paces from the door to his apartment. If he goes farther than that, he might just keep walking and never come back.

When he finally does cross that invisible line, a few minutes later, he nearly runs into someone. He grabs that person's shoulder instinctively to steady both of them and when that person, that man, looks up at him, Todd swears he's having a heart attack. Dark eyes so open and beautiful stare back at him, never blinking. Todd forgets to let go of the man, who laughs softly.

"I kind of need that arm back, man."

"Oh, right, sorry," Todd nearly exclaims as he jumps back, reluctantly dropping his hand.

"It's cool."

Such a casual, elegant shrug. It doesn't even bother Todd that he has to peer down at this man when doing so normally would. Todd bites his lip absently and finds he can't look away from the stranger, who smirks at him knowingly before walking around Todd. Slowly, Todd turns to look after him. The words spill out of Todd's mouth before he can stop them.

"Hey, what's your name?"

The guy turns and grins. "Dave." A small pause, just enough to show how amused he must be. "And you?"

"Todd."

Dave nods. "Nice to… run into you."

A flash of a grin and then he's walking on, up the block and into a different apartment building. Todd curses softly under his breath. He wishes now that he wasn't so cowardly about these things.

After a couple more cigarettes, Todd is ready to go back inside and face the music, so to speak. That's when Dave comes back out and nods his head toward his apartment door. Todd raises an eyebrow and walks over there.

"Want to come up?"

Todd looks back over his shoulder to make sure that his brother isn't standing there. "Yeah, yeah, I'd like that."

After walking up three flights of stairs, during which Todd stares at Dave's ass, they arrive at apartment 3F. Todd is confused when Dave knocks instead of just entering. A slightly taller man with mused hair answers the door.

"Matt, Todd. Todd, Matt," Dave introduces.

Matt mutters something unintelligible, but lets them inside. Todd is somewhat shocked to find that the room is littered with guitars and sheet music. He carefully tiptoes around all of it, even though Dave doesn't bother, and makes his way after Matt into the living room proper. Matt gestures vaguely at the couch and Todd moves a stack of magazines in order to sit down. Dave and Matt settle in on either side of him; the contact of their thighs against his makes him feel giddy and uncomfortable at the same time.

"So, you're a musician?"

Todd feels stupid for asking such an obvious question, but it's better than sitting there in silence.

"We both are," Dave answers and Todd begins to wonder if Matt is mute.

"Wicked. I'm one as well."

"I saw you playing the other week," Matt finally speaks up. "Nice voice, good for harmonies."

"Umm, thanks," Todd replies, not sure that it's a compliment. He wants to be a lead singer, after all.

Matt then goes on to talk about the local scene and how "fucking idiotic" it is. He goes on ranting this way for several minutes, during which, Todd glances from Dave, who isn't even paying attention, to the room around him. When Matt finally shuts up, Todd has lost track of the flow of the rant and doesn't even know if he's expected to respond. So, he just nods.

"Yeah, it sucks."

Dave smirks at that and Todd almost winces at his unintentional innuendo. Instead, he shrugs slightly and stands up.

"Well, I should get back."

He doesn't really want to go home, but it doesn't seem like he can stay here. Matt blinks up at him.

"Really? Sure you don't want some coffee?"

Todd shrugs lightly. "Why not?"

Matt gets up and shuffles into the kitchen. As Todd hears water running, he glances at Dave out of the corner of his eye. He wonders why Dave invited him up here. It isn't even his place. Vaguely, it dawns on him that Dave could think he's for sale, but he quickly dismisses the thought. His self-esteem can't take that at the moment.

Dave's hand lands on his thigh and caresses it lightly, his fingers teasing up under a hole in the fabric. Todd gasps and then bites his lip, to stop himself from moaning. His hand moves to take Dave's away, but instead, he ends up touching the back of Dave's hand lightly.

"You feel good."

The words are hot and heavy against Todd's neck. Todd swallows hard. Does he want this after so long? He turns his head and dips it down to meet Dave's lips. After not being kissed for so long, he expects the touch to be electric, but instead, it's wet and grounded. Todd immediately pulls back and jumps up to pace. His fingers weave through his hair.

"I can't do this."

He says it more to himself than to Dave, and then flees toward the door.

"Did Dave hit on you?" Matt says from the hallway. "Stay for coffee," he continues without waiting for answer. "I don't bite, at least."

Internally, Todd chastises himself for being such a pussy. He counts to ten before turning and going back into the living room. This time, he sits on an armchair across from the couch. Matt comes over and hands him a chipped coffee mug.

"I assumed you were a sugar and cream type of guy," Matt says almost apologetically.

"Yeah, yeah, I am," Todd says, surprised.

Dave rolls his eyes as Matt hands him a mug of black coffee. Matt gives Dave some kind of look, it almost looks like a warning, and Dave rolls his eyes again. As they sip their coffee, Matt goes on to ask Todd questions about music and the band. Todd answers them cautiously, knowing that Dave is listening. Dave seems like the type that might use that information against him later. Not that Todd every plans to see him later.

After a few minutes of discussion between Matt and Todd, Dave sets his mug down and then stands up, stretching his arms as he goes.

"I've gotta work tomorrow, you ladies have fun."

Matt rolls his eyes at Todd, as if in confidence, against Dave's behavior. "Yeah, later."

"Later," Todd echoes.

Dave frowns at Matt and Matt sighs before following Dave to the door. He makes a gesture in Todd's direction indicating that he should stay there. Part of a wall blocks Todd from seeing what they're doing, but the soft voices and wet noises make it clear anyway; they're kissing.

Todd wonders what he's gotten himself into, but stays put. He ends up staying up half the night talking to Matt, or listening to Matt, mostly, rather. Finally, around 4am, Matt offers Todd his couch and Todd takes it. Wedged uncomfortably into the small space, he sleeps uncomfortably.

**

A few short hours later, Todd wakes up to the sound of someone crying. He's confused about where he is and calls out Ryan's name. Ryan gets homesick quite often, although he's never cried, to Todd's knowledge. Todd moves to get up, thinking he's on his futon, and rolls to the floor instead, landing on a stack of sheet music. This only serves to confuse him further. He groans and pushes himself up to all fours. Upon glancing around, he remembers where he is and then is very confused as to why Matt would be crying.

He's also unsure as to whether he should go find Matt or not, but does so anyway. Matt is in the bathroom, staring at the contents of his medicine cabinet. Inside are several prescriptions. Matt is holding one of them in his hands and peering at the label through tears. He's not wearing his glasses now and Todd has to wonder how he can see, since they were so thick.

"Can you tell me what this one is?"

Matt hands Todd the bottle and Todd squints at the label before trying to pronounce the name of the drug inside. Only a syllable in, Matt swears at the sink.

"Fuck." He sniffles slightly and wipes his nose against the back of his hand. "I thought I had more of that."

It's then that Todd realizes the bottle is empty. "What's it for?"

Matt blinks as though he just realized that it's Todd he's speaking to and not someone else. "Oh, depression. Not that it works for shit."

He slams the medicine cabinet shut and grabs the bottle before throwing it the trash. Todd stands there feeling uncomfortable at this display. He's not sure whether he should go home or comfort Matt. Although Matt doesn't seem like the type to be comforted, so Todd just continues to stand there, staring at the medicine cabinet and Matt's reflection within it.

Matt takes a deep breath. "You must think I'm insane. I'm not, you know."

"I know," Todd says softly, genuinely.

"You want breakfast? Of course you do. Someone of your height must."

Shuffling around Todd, Matt heads toward the kitchen. Todd blinks and then uses the facilities, splashing water on his face after washing his hands. He looks at himself in the mirror and runs a hand through his long hair. It doesn't help it to behave.

Hearing Matt banging around in the kitchen, Todd leaves the bathroom and heads in that direction. Matt appears to be cooking some kind of feast. Todd isn't quite that hungry, but he silently steps forward to pitch in. They end up making egg sandwiches and bacon, which Todd, a budding vegetarian, doesn’t eat. Halfway through the meal, Todd gets up the guts to ask the question that's been on his mind since he realized that this is Matt's apartment alone.

"How do you afford this place on your own? I live in a place about this size, but with three other guys."

Matt laughs softly. "I don't."

"Huh?"

"David pays for it. To keep me close since I refused to move into his house."

"Oh." Todd pauses. "So, you're like…"

"Something like that." Matt looks out the small kitchen window. "I owe him big time. And therefore…" He looks back toward Todd and gestures around the apartment. "I'm kept in this gilded cage."

Todd considers that for a moment. "I gather you don't like it?"

Matt smirks. "It has its perks. David is a consummate lover. But he has wandering eyes, and, well, hands, as you saw last night. Yet, he expects me to sit in this apartment and wait for him to come visit." Matt pauses and frowns. "Which makes me wonder why he insisted on bringing you up here in the first place."

"Maybe he thought you could use the company," Todd says with a shrug.

"Perhaps," Matt smiles.

They eat in companionable silence and then work on cleaning the dishes they used together. Todd isn't quite ready to go back to his apartment, so when Matt suggests they go for a walk, he accepts the offer.

**

The blocks they traverse are run-down. Matt's apartment building appears to be the only diamond in the rough. Years from now, the neighborhood will be gentrified and Matt's apartment will be worth quite a bit, but he won't be living there by then. They talk quietly as they walk. About music and books they've read. Every once in awhile, Matt will point someone out and weave a story about them. Todd likes this part of their walk best.

When they make it back to their block, Matt invites Todd up for a late lunch, and Todd accepts. They make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and eat them on the couch while watching TV. Todd vaguely wonders what's going on in his own apartment at the moment. He feels slightly guilty for not contacting them for such a long period of time and finally gives in and asks to use Matt's phone.

"Sure," Matt replies. He gestures to a table down the hall. "It's over there."

Todd smiles his thanks and walks over to make his call. Thankfully, he gets his brother and not one of the Dahles. John assumes he's met a girl and Todd doesn't bother to correct him. They hang up after only a brief conversation and Todd has to shake his head at his brother's assumptions.

"A girl, eh?" Matt asks when he returns to the couch.

"Yeah." Todd pauses and grins. "Martha."

"I always thought I was more of a Maude," Matt deadpans.

Todd cracks up at that and Matt grins widely at him. Underneath his laughter, Todd isn't so sure about the joke. There are implications to it. Ones that Matt, and Dave for that matter, might not like. He turns to Matt to make it clear what he meant, but Matt is leaning toward him when he does, and Todd's body moves on autopilot to kiss him. When their lips meet, it's electric; everything Todd ever thought kissing a guy would be. After that initial contact, they both seem to be starved for more. It isn't long before they're naked, smeared in the peanut butter and jelly they accidentally fell on, licking each other clean. Matt's tongue is hot and wet in all the right places on Todd's body.

When Matt's lips finally close over the head of Todd's cock, Todd feels like he's dying all of a sudden. His hips buck up and Matt accommodates him, taking as much of Todd's cock as he can down his throat. Todd's moan almost feels painful as if it was ripped from his throat as Matt begins to suck his flesh. To Todd's semi-embarrassment, he doesn't last long. The heat of Matt's mouth is too much. Not to mention the sight of him sucking Todd with seemingly wanton abandon. When Matt lets Todd's cock slip from his mouth, Todd shivers before reaching to kiss Matt. He wants to taste himself on Matt's tongue. More than that, he wants to give Matt the same pleasure. With somewhat clumsy movements, he brings Matt up and takes his cock down his throat. Matt moans like he's never felt anything like Todd's mouth before and a feeling of pride takes over Todd even as he's nervous as hell doing this for the first time. To Todd's satisfaction, Matt doesn't last long either.

**

Hours later, Todd wakes up, not so confused this time, to find himself a sticky mess in Matt's arms. He's uncomfortable in the position he wound up in, but he doesn't dare move for fear of waking up Matt. After listening to Matt breathe, Todd is almost asleep again when he hears a buzzing sound. Immediately, Matt bolts awake.

"Shit," he swears and starts pulling on clothes. "Get dressed. Fuck."

Groggily, Todd obeys the command until he's somewhat presentable. Matt dashes over to an intercom against the wall and hits a button. Moments later, someone is knocking on the door. Matt opens the door and Dave barges in.

"I called earlier, but your line was busy."

"Yeah, Todd was using the phone."

"Todd's still here?" Dave blinks as if he's just noticed Todd sitting on the couch. "Oh."

"No, he just came over for lunch. I don't have to keep you apprised of that now too, do I?"

Dave frowns at Matt. "No. I just…" He shakes his head. "I was going to take you out. To our favorite place."

"Maybe for dinner then?"

"No, I have rehearsals. You know that, Matthew."

"Yeah," Matt says, looking somewhat chastised and ashamed.

Todd finally stands and waves toward the door. "I should get going."

Dave steps away from the door and Todd makes his escape. He feels slightly giddy at the knowledge of his and Matt's secret. It keeps him going for days, weeks, and even months despite not seeing Matt again until much later, when things between Matt and Dave have gone sour. By then, Matt is living in a condo with a blonde wife and Todd is married himself. When they pass on the street, they only smile slightly in acknowledgement of something now past that could've been present.

"Who was that?" Todd's wife, Dawn, asks.

"Just an old friend," Todd says absently and they walk on.

**


End file.
